fic: for whatever we lose (like a you or a me) [PJO, Percy/Annabeth, G]

[greenconverses]

Title: for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
Characters/Pairings: Percy/Annabeth
Rating: G
Summary: Even though she hates waiting more than anything else in the world, she'll do it for him. Because waiting is all she has left. Set during BotL.
Notes: artemisrae gave me the prompt Percy/Annabeth, vigil. I had a hard time with this one because Annabeth did not want to cooperate, so it went through a couple different versions to get to this point. Thanks to from_elysium to listening to me whine throughout the last couple of paragraphs.

for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)

The horizon looks like it’s on fire as the sun sets beneath the ocean’s waves, transforming the serene blue into a fierce palette of angry reds and oranges, but despite appearances, the water is as cold and unfeeling as it always is.

Annabeth wades a little deeper into the surf, ignoring the chill that rushes up her spine and the angry wind that’s trying to buffet her back to shore. The sea has never been her friend, a causality of being the daughter of its greatest rival, but it isn’t going to keep her from here, not tonight or any other night. This is where she needs to be.

It seems like she’s spent her whole life waiting — waiting for her father to notice her, waiting to fit in, waiting for that quest and to be named a great hero — and it’s fitting, then, that she’s fallen for a boy who always makes her wait.

She pauses when she’s waded mid-thigh in the water, and glances back toward the shore where the flames from the torches at camp gleam in the distance.

No one else has her patience for him; no one else will wander the beaches at night, risking the fury of the harpy’s claws to stare at the endless sea and hold a silent vigil for a hero who has forsaken them. Chiron will only wait so long before he declares Percy a lost cause and everyone at camp thinks the explosion in Mt. St. Helens and her time in the labyrinth have driven her insane, but Annabeth knows they’re all wrong.

Percy Jackson doesn’t leave people behind, not if he can help it. He’s out there, somewhere, alive and well, and he’s going to wash up on his favorite stretch of beach sooner or later because that’s just what he does. He has to, otherwise —

Otherwise she'll be alone again, and she can't go through that loss one more time, not after her life's finally come together.

She swallows the bile the rises in her throat, and turns her gaze toward the purpling horizon. The water's become a bit warmer and the wind has died down, as if the ocean has sensed her hurt, her longing for its favorite son, and is trying its best to soothe her.

It's all right, the waves lapping gently against her seem to be saying. We miss him too.

Perhaps she has gone a little mad, but Annabeth feels a brief flash of sympathy for the sea. It, too, knows what it's like to wait for the ones it loves to come back, never sure how it will be treated on their return, if it'll be remembered or cared for. After everything it's been through, waiting is the only hope it has left.

And even though she hates waiting more than anything in the world, she'll stand in the ocean and scan the horizon for Percy each night until he returns. Because that's all she has left too.

~

for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea
- e.e. cummings

Comments

[rosegilmore.livejournal.com]

Thanks! Its one of my favorites.

Also; I love the ee cummings quote. It fits very well.